Showing posts with label Unmotivated. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Unmotivated. Show all posts

16 October 2008

Housework Is The Devil....Today's FLYing TaDas

I feel very unmotivated today. I think some of that has to do with the paperwork I got broadsided by when I got home from work. It was important, since I need oil, but still...it was not in the plan. I also have a lot of things on my mind, and I want everything done NOW. Which of course isn't going to happen. Okay, I'm off to see what I can get done today!

Accomplishments:

  • Got up
  • Made Bed
  • Filled out paperwork
  • Got paperwork to the person it needed to go to.
  • Cooked dinner - leftovers
  • Folded load of wash that was in dryer
  • Switched over load from washer
  • Blogged
  • Journalled
  • Did some money making activities


13 October 2008

Fell Down

I got nothing done yesterday. Absolutely nothing. Well, I did make my bed, but that's it. Today is a new day, but I don't know how much I'm going to get done, as I will be taking my Mom grocery shopping. I'm trying not to let it get me down, but I feel like my old pattern is resurfacing already, and its only been 3 days! I haven't even posted in the 40 day challenge yet!

Wish me luck for the coming day.


10 October 2008

Free Day And Restarting

Today is my designated "Free Day". But with all the work I've been ignoring, I think its going to have to be a clean day. But I haven't gotten anything done yet, my brain is still demanding its free day. But how can I relax with everything that has to be done? I have a lot on my plate right now, but having a messy house isn't helping me cope with everything. Isn't it funny how it makes your stress levels even higher?

I also decided to restart FLYing. Again. I have gotten away from the principles of routines and decluttering and have basically been going from one crisis clean to another. I have a lot of balls in the air, and unless I come up with a way to appease my OCD nature...I'm just going to drop them all.

This is no way to live.



09 October 2008

Housework Is The Devil....

I am not having a great day. I have gotten nothing done, I'm once again in a bit of a funk. CHAOS is blooming all around me, though of course it isn't as bad as it has been. But it is worse then it has been recently. I've been smoking like a chimney, not drinking my water, not eating right...I'm starting to fall back into my old patterns. And I'm getting irritated with myself.

I have the know-how to clean, to do everything I need to do, to balance everything. But my mental discipline has vanished. I feel like a yo yo - scattered, distracted, irritated. And that's not me. But for some reason I keep standing in my own way. Can I just take me out of the picture entirely?

20 September 2008

Random Ramblings

Well, today was more or less a wash. Got very little accomplished, and I'm not too impressed with myself. Spent way too much time browsing websites, reading blogs and ignoring housework...and the beautiful fall day outside. I literally never left the house today, not even to run next door to see the parentals. It just hasn't been my day I guess.

I wonder if it doesn't have something to do with the amount I've smoked today, the past few days really. I think high amounts of nicotine is keeping me from doing what I want, making me tired, depressed, downright lethargic. I started the day off right, was in a fairly chipper mood (considering it was morning) and was rather ready to start my day. Then the nicotine monster reared its head...and very little got accomplished.

Did have a rather long conversation with my friend Draco and his wife, which is always nice. Draco and I talk about the most random things, with a healthy dose of picking on each other. We talk about everything under the sun, from programming and computer stuff, to religion, politics...nothing is taboo. Today was the antics of his wife...usually at his expense. The stories I could relate here...but I won't, because poor Draco would expire from embarrassment. He is the most easily embarrassed Scorpio I know!

Still haven't decided where my blog is going to stay. The majority of the people I know have Blogger accounts, so I might just stay here. Starting over, new blog, it could work out. It would mean recreating my holiday blog and photo blog though, but I wasn't that far into them. So it wouldn't be too difficult to just slide over here. No to do list blog though, that was highly dull. It was so stinkin dull that I didn't even want to post on it! Now that's boring...

So I'm debating starting over...again. I'm just not progressing like I should, I don't think I've really done much to change or grow in the past 5 years or so. I sometimes swear that I am still stuck in this "pre baby, pre "real world"" mentality...and its not getting me far at all.

Firefox is irritating me lately...it just crashed for about the 10th time today. What in the name of Hades is going on? I've never had a problem, and now suddenly its going haywire. Stupid blasted computers, thank the gods for autosave.

Now what was I saying before I was so rudely interrupted? Ahh yes, starting over. Tomorrow. Again. I seem to be stuck in who I was before my life took an interesting turn, and stuck in who I am not. But I'm not doing anything to get anywhere, just kind of spinning my heels and why me'ing. Rather pathetic if you ask me. What's even worse is I can see myself acting in this way, and while I mentally scream at myself, I don't do anything to change it. So I'm making the vow (again) to start changing those things I can...and removing that which I can't...

So once again, starting tomorrow, I'm starting a new life. It won't be perfect, but at least I can feel that I'm doing something...instead of being a spectator in my own life. Watch out world, here comes the new me!